You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
