And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize