So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
