Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize