I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
There's always time for handjobs
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
