How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You were trust falling into bushes
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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