Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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