you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
