Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
