Having a random hookup so left but love u
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
