her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize