we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize