if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
