Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
