the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Randomize
