Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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