at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
