Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
