We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
