try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
