do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize