Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
