Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
