Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Randomize
