thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
