I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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