omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
