I bet he comes in French.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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