I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
