The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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