Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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