I think im going to throw up on grandma
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
