did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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