i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
