you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
it was like eating out sand paper
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
