he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
