why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
