all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Drunk is a universal language darling
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