everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
