Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Acid is not a monday night drug
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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