i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize