he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
