You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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