I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
The adults are the big ones right?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
