She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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