Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
