Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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