your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
