remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
