i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
