Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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