found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
