I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize