so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
