From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
