I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
