New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
