need another drink. this is the easiest way
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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