he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
