no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
