Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
