never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
