Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
