The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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